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malin98

everyone is beautiful (^u^)
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NEW ACCOUNT!!!!

1 min read
i finally got the courage to get a new one. the memories have been awesome here. and i will come back! but i will start post on maanuv all the new art. so go watch if you want! <3
maanuv.deviantart.com/
maanuv.deviantart.com/
maanuv.deviantart.com/
maanuv.deviantart.com/
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sad daiz so today is a horrible day... i found my house mouse dead this morning. Her name was Biscuit and she was the most wonderful mouse in the world... she was acting strange and might have gotten a tumor... fucking vet being so expensive! im pissed as hell on these fuckers not even answering my messages. sigh... now that she is gone so is her friend, cookie, all alone. it's so horrible sad! she was searching the cage for biscuit.

i was going to start submit pics and all. but now my heart is broken and teared to small peaces that death is jumping on with joy. i really don't want to do anything anymore. she was my baby. my loved one. she was so careful and curious about everything. god i miss her...

R.I.P BISCUIT. YOU ARE THE BEST MOUSE IN THE WORLD AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND YOU WILL BE MISSED BY EVERYONE! :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: Really Sad 
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i have manage to draw when the days are better and lighter. So i have some pics i would gladly share but now there is one huge problem.... my scanner doesn't work. we was going to install it on my computer by disc but as soon as we found it the most important cable to the scanner has been chewed off by our puppy's.... so we don't have one anymore. And we can't save it because they completely chewed it off. But i will take pics while it's still daylight so the light comes out good. Im sorry for the bad quality that is coming but i can't do anything to make it better at the moment. but we will try to get a new one asap.

So eh im sorry for the completely silence here ^^; but i hope i am back on track with the drawings and sharing them. :D

oh and im gonna say it right now so you understands. i am still in the deep darkness and has it hard to hang with school so i am stressed everyday. And i might or possible will share some pics of those situations. And my decisions jumps back and forth so i will be quite every now and then.

But yeah im back i guess!! :D
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[ ] I am shorter than 5'4" 
[ x ] I think I'm ugly sometimes. 
[ x ] I have many scars (cats mostly)
[ ] I tan easily
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
[ ] I have a tattoo
[ x ] I am self-conscious about my appearance
[ ] I've had braces
[ x ] I wear glasses
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings 
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears
[ x ] I have freckles 

. family/home life .
[ x ] I've sworn at my parents 
[ / ] I've run away from home. (kinda)
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house
[ ] my biological parents are together 
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old 
[ ] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I've had children
[ ] I've lost a child 

. school/work .
[x] I'm in school 
[ ] I have a job 
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school
[/] I almost always do my homework
[x] I've missed a week or more of school
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

. embarrassment .
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry
[ ] I've peed from laughing
[ ] I've snorted while laughing
[ x ] I've laughed so hard I've cried
[ ] I've glued my hand to something 
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public

. health .
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples
[ ] I've broken a bone 
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed
[ ] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend 
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed 
[ ] I had a serious surgery
[ x ] I've had chicken pox 

. traveling .
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day
[ ] I've been on a plane
[ ] I've been to Canada
[ ] I've been to Mexico
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls
[ ] I've been to Japan
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
[ x ] I've been to Europe (i live in europe but been to poland and finland)
[ ] I've been to Africa

. experiences .
[ x ] I've gotten lost in my city
[ x ] I've seen a shooting star 
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ x ] I've seen a meteor shower
[ x ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator 
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts
[ ] I've been to a casino
[ ] I've been skydiving 
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping 
[ x ] I've played spin the bottle
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour 
[ ] I've crashed a car 
[ ] I've been skiing
[ ] I've been in a play
[ ] I've met someone in person from MySpace
[ x ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue
[ x ] I've seen the Northern lights (it's really pretty in real life)
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night
[ ] I've played chicken (hu?)
[ x ] I've played a prank on someone
[ x ] I've ridden in a taxi 
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[ ] I've eaten sushi
[ x ] I've been snowboarding

. relationships .
[ x ] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged
[ ] I'm married
[ ] I've gone on a blind date
[ x ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper
[ x ] I miss someone right now
[ x ] I have a fear of abandonment
[ ] I've gotten divorced 
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship 

. sexuality .
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher
[ x ] I am a cuddler
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain
[ ] I've hugged a stranger
[ ] I have kissed a stranger

. honesty/crime .
[ x ] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[ x ] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't
[ x ] I've snuck out of my house
[ x ] I have lied to my parents about where I am
[ x ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[ x ] I've cheated while playing a game
[ x ] I've cheated on a test
[ ] I've run a red light
[ ] I've been suspended from school
[ x ] I've witnessed a crime
[ / ] I've been in a fist fight (kinda)
[ ] I've been arrested

. drugs/alcohol .
[ ] I've consumed alcohol (I don't drink)
[ ] I regularly drink
[ ] I've passed out from drinking
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them
[ ] I've eaten mushrooms ( from the nature?)
[ ] I've popped E ????
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous ????
[ ] I've done hard drugs (I don't do drugs)
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[ x ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ x ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression (deep depression to be honest...)
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder
[ x ] I shut others out when I'm depressed (when? is everyday)
[ x ] I take anti-depressants
[ / ] I'm anorexic or bulimic (kinda)
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it (i can't sleep)
[ x ] I've hurt myself on purpose
[ x ] I've woken up crying

. death and suicide .
[ ] I'm afraid of dying
[ ] I hate funerals
[ ] I've seen someone dying
[ ] someone close to me has attempted suicide
[ ] someone close to me has committed suicide
[x] I've planned my own suicide
[x] I've attempted suicide 
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself

. materialism .
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs (to be honest, 
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun
[ x ] I collect comic books
[ ] I own something from The Gap
[ ] I own something I got on Amazon
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie  

. random .
[ ] I can sing well
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant
[ ] I open up to others easily
[ / ] I watch the news
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme
[ x ] I cuss regularly
[ ] I sing in the shower
[ ] I am a morning person
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar 
[ ] I am a sports fanatic 
[ ] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[ ] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ x ] I bake well (they say i do)
[ x ] my favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue 
[ x ] I've worn pajamas to school
[ ] I like Martha Stewart
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[ ] I am in love with love (what do you mean?)
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[ x ] I laugh at my own jokes
[ ] I eat fast food weekly (nah don't like fast food so much)
[ x ] I believe in ghosts
[ / ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room
[ ] I am really ticklish
[ x ] I love dark chocolate
[ x ] I bite my nails
[ x ] I play video games.
[ x ] I'm good at remembering faces
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates
[ x ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

[ x ] all of those are answered honestly
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Hi im so sorry for not being active at all on here. but as i have said earlier. My depression isn't getting better... i can't get them silent for a single day! all i can think of is memories from childhood, worries, panics, every little single moment with a old friend now enemy... god i wish they could just shut up for once at least! it have gone worse too since the start with help came into the picture. Before so was it just my brain randomly some days coming with memories and some bad words here and there. i called myself bad things. then now... i have another voice. i can't recall hearing the voice from someone before and it is horrible... it's like all the bullies have came into one body and it is that black thing... well at least the box is warm to be in.

but now. saw on the last journal that 99 people had seen it. is it all one person reading it all over again? or are there so many people there? well.... Hi on you all! i hope you have a great day. Don't forget to take your medicine, take a shower, eat something, and get some exercise. a walk around your house is enough for a little exercise. Take care! and be safe!

btw didn't know that being really really ghost white (not being outside so much and can't get a real sunburn. tomato skin!) can help you cover the scars O_O realized it yesterday when was just getting some old skin off. well have a great day! :D remember to keep the smile up! and it's always a day tomorrow. don't stress over everything!
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